Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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