The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
