At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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