But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
