well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i can't believe i had my finger in that
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
