You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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