the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
