Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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