Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
