Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
