And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize