I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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