Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
