This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
