His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
