Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
ok first of all what the fuck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
