And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
