God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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