Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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