Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
