I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
