Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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