He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize