i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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