He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
