after a month anything with tits is on the radar
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
