This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
