are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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