I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
