Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
