We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
