"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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