All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
