why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
