Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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