If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Send help, water and tortillas.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
