i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
