im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
