He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
