i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize