Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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