As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm bleeding and have questions
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize