You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize