For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
