Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
