yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We left the knife in your bed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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