is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
