the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
