I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
