Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
