You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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