it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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