it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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