if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
