That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Alive.
So much puke
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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