Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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