Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
