I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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