Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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