life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just pee around me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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