I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
