redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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