so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
