just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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